It's the little things...
I'm overwhelmed by the messages God has sent me today. First, a card through school mail from a former colleague encouraging me with her thoughts and prayers. Then a message from someone who I love dearly, who came to me the day I found out, met my fear head on and prayed me through it. A text from a sweet friend. My coworkers who are a constant encouragement and one who made me laugh until my stomach hurt today with his mischievous pranks. God is in the details of our everyday life if we'll only stop and look. I sometimes forget, I am His child, and He is going to do what my earthly Daddy wants to do, and that is kick this cancer's butt to the curb.
I have a very hard time saying the word cancer. I can hardly even type it. It's as disgusting to me as the nastiest curse words. I don't want to associate it with any part of who I am. I want it out of me. I want it gone.
Last night something new happened as I was trying to drift off to sleep. I was paralyzed with fear. Negative thoughts began streaming into my head all at once and I tossed and turned for quite a while. So many horrible what-ifs began to run through my brain. It felt like I was running for my life. Satan attacks us at our weakest moments. 1 Peter 5:8 says "Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." I ask you to pray specifically for divine protection of my thoughts as I fall asleep each night. Last night, I eventually prayed myself to sleep, my pillow damp with tears. I feel exhausted today. I'm ready for that vacation.
I called the Dr. to see if he could give me something to ease up the anxiety that my body is determined to feel. It used to make me feel like a failure to need help from medication to control my anxiety, but then my Dr. told me it is out of my control. It's my body's response to fear, to the fight it has been thrown into. There is nothing I could do to make it stop on its own. So now I just accept it and when I need the meds, they are there to help. A bonus to today's Drs. visit...my Dr. who is a Christian asked if he could pray with me before I left. It was a wonderful prayer for healing and for God's peace.
When I got home I had three more cards waiting on me and then got a text from someone who has been through the battle I'm just starting. He offered any help he could give and said he wanted to be on my team. I gladly accept that offer. I need all the team members I can get, and this one is special to us. Just knowing that I have people all over the US praying for me and speaking my name before the Father is very comforting.
Tomorrow is the MRI and then we MUST start packing for our camping trip! Yikes! I usually start 2 weeks in advance. This should be interesting.
Prayer Requests:
1. MRI tomorrow - pray for meds to keep me calm and results to be good.
2. Genetic test results to be negative for cancer gene.
3. Pray for divine protection of my thoughts as I fall asleep each night and peaceful slumber.
4. For the daily anxiety and panic attacks to stop. I have new meds, please pray they help.
5. Praise for the many ways God has encouraged me today.
Verse for today:
I have a very hard time saying the word cancer. I can hardly even type it. It's as disgusting to me as the nastiest curse words. I don't want to associate it with any part of who I am. I want it out of me. I want it gone.
Last night something new happened as I was trying to drift off to sleep. I was paralyzed with fear. Negative thoughts began streaming into my head all at once and I tossed and turned for quite a while. So many horrible what-ifs began to run through my brain. It felt like I was running for my life. Satan attacks us at our weakest moments. 1 Peter 5:8 says "Your enemy, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour." I ask you to pray specifically for divine protection of my thoughts as I fall asleep each night. Last night, I eventually prayed myself to sleep, my pillow damp with tears. I feel exhausted today. I'm ready for that vacation.
I called the Dr. to see if he could give me something to ease up the anxiety that my body is determined to feel. It used to make me feel like a failure to need help from medication to control my anxiety, but then my Dr. told me it is out of my control. It's my body's response to fear, to the fight it has been thrown into. There is nothing I could do to make it stop on its own. So now I just accept it and when I need the meds, they are there to help. A bonus to today's Drs. visit...my Dr. who is a Christian asked if he could pray with me before I left. It was a wonderful prayer for healing and for God's peace.
When I got home I had three more cards waiting on me and then got a text from someone who has been through the battle I'm just starting. He offered any help he could give and said he wanted to be on my team. I gladly accept that offer. I need all the team members I can get, and this one is special to us. Just knowing that I have people all over the US praying for me and speaking my name before the Father is very comforting.
Tomorrow is the MRI and then we MUST start packing for our camping trip! Yikes! I usually start 2 weeks in advance. This should be interesting.
Prayer Requests:
1. MRI tomorrow - pray for meds to keep me calm and results to be good.
2. Genetic test results to be negative for cancer gene.
3. Pray for divine protection of my thoughts as I fall asleep each night and peaceful slumber.
4. For the daily anxiety and panic attacks to stop. I have new meds, please pray they help.
5. Praise for the many ways God has encouraged me today.
Verse for today:
Amy, know that God never leaves your side, and neither do I. I think of you every waking moment and pray for you healing. I will always have your back or as we say in the military I HAVE YOUR SIX. Can't wait to see you in a few more days. Love you
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