Waiting is the worst...

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I want to get on with it. My brain keeps swirling with worst-case scenarios no matter how much I try to stay positive. I just want a schedule...to know exactly what I'm up against. That's my current frustration. That and wondering how on earth we're gonna pay all the bills without my paycheck for a couple of months. Could get interesting.

I've rearranged the extra bedroom and got it ready for visitors and today I scoured the bathrooms. I've been washing clothes non-stop since we got back from our trip. How on earth did we get that many things dirty in a week?? I still need to clean my kitchen and put away all these clothes. I just feel like I need to have everything ready in case I am able to convince my Dr. to get me on her surgery schedule at the earliest possible time. I'm not good at waiting. I never have been.

I took some "before" pics today. I want to remember how I look with hair in case chemo takes it. Silly probably, but I did it anyway.  Once I know the plan, I will probably go get it cut at least a little shorter before surgery and then very short before chemo.

My week in the mountains was wonderful and very difficult emotionally at the same time. I cannot remember the last time we had a week without any rain at camp. It only rained a little bit one night and the rest of the days were gorgeous. That was a real blessing. I don't know that I will be up to a week of camping next summer....maybe we can manage a cabin next year instead.

All in all, right now, I feel more positive than negative. I still have moments of doubt but keeping busy seems to help quite a bit. I'll go to work tomorrow and leave at lunch so I can pick up Scott and go have the ultrasound and biopsies, then head home to rest. I am hoping to get some sort of timeline as to when we can schedule surgery.

I started a Pinterest Board with Breast Cancer resources and found some very interesting stuff. I'll be reading and doing more research. I find that knowing as much as possible about this disease and how it is treated helps me feel more at ease.

Scott's putting up some new shelves in our bathroom so I think I will go help. Here are today's prayer requests:
1. Monday's ultrasound and biopsies.
2. Surgery scheduled soon.
3. Please keep praying for my Aunt Joan's knee.
4. Pray for my family.
5. Please pray that this cancer would be contained and easily, completely removed.
6. Please pray for calmness and peace and bravery for me.

Today's Verse:


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