What Day Is it???
Since this whole ordeal started I have been unable to keep track of what day it is. I just seem to be drifting from one day to the next. I've never been stellar at remembering dates to begin with but my brain is running so fast and I cannot seem to slow it down. It's a bit like when I try to make my computer do too many things at once and the fan comes on like a jet engine trying to cool it down and the programs I'm running slow down to a crawl with that little thing just spinning, going nowhere fast.
Today we cleaned the house. I am pretty sure this is the cleanest it has ever been. That makes me happy. At least I can start this next week of appointments with a clean house and everything, for the most part, in its place. My screen porch is still a bit of a wreck because it will not stop raining and we aren't going to talk about the garage full of Jarod's boxes and furniture to be moved to App on August 3rd. But, as I sit here in my newly painted bedroom with the new artwork I painted hanging up on the walls, I feel peaceful and that is good.
Thursday, I arrived at work at my usual time and went about my morning routines. About a half hour into my morning I suddenly realized that nearly everyone coming into work that morning was wearing pink and those that weren't had pink ribbons pinned on. I was just blown away. I am so blessed to work with those people. I've not been over there at Help Desk very long, just about 2 and a half months, even though I've known many of them for years since I was a Tech Assistant in the schools. But to know that they are all pulling for me really was touching and encouraging and I really, truly appreciated it. I cannot thank them enough.
My boss and my supervisor also took me out for lunch Thursday which was a nice surprise. They have both been simply wonderful and supportive and again I cannot tell you how blessed I am to work with them. To all those who prayed with me for the perfect job to come along, God heard those prayers and answered them tenfold!
I've been looking at short haircuts online trying to find something that I like. I've decided it doesn't matter whether I have surgery or chemo first...either way, I'm not gonna feel like messing with my hair for quite some time. I have very thick, very difficult hair that takes forever to dry. I won't be able to fix it after surgery. I won't feel like fixing it during chemo. So, I'm cutting it off. I figure, even if I have chemo first I'll at least have a cute haircut for a couple weeks before it all falls out. Honestly, it has been getting on my last nerve the last few days with all this rain so it's making it a bit easier to cut it all off! My BFF, Suzie, will be here tomorrow afternoon. While she's here I'll make an appointment to get my hair cut. I might be fine. I might cry. Either way, I'll have her make some pictures to chronical the day. We're going to get our nails done too. I'm looking forward to a little pampering after the last few weeks.
I am still black and blue and every other color from my biopsies. I've never had bruises like this before. It freaks me out to look at them. They are getting a little better each day, but it's a slow process. I'm still very sore and wake up several times a night because I've rolled over the wrong way.
I'm off work all next week. So many appointments and things to do to get ready to either start chemo or have surgery that I just didn't think I could wrap my head around working 10 hours days on top of all the decisions I need to make. Depending on the treatment plan, I will begin my leave sometime between August 1st and the 15th. I should know on Monday after my appointment and just knowing what I'm doing and when will make me feel a whole lot better. This is going to be a long process and I could be out of work for 6 months or more. Financially, that scares me to be honest. But I'm trying to look at the positives so I will say that I will be glad to sleep late, stay in my PJs if I want, take naps when I want and binge watch British TV shows on AcornTV. :)
I have realized through this trial what is important and what isn't. The silly things I used to complain about are pretty much gone. When you are standing toe to toe with something that could end your life a lot of things become very clear. I have a need to make certain that I treat every person I encounter with kindness and patience. I've met a lot of new people over the last few weeks, many of them Doctors and Nurses or Technicians. I don't want to go through this trial. I don't want to go to all these Drs. appointments. I don't want to be poked and prodded and stuck with needles or have parts of my body removed. But whether I want it or not, It's happening. So it is up to me to make the best of it. I could choose to be miserable but I'd rather not because being miserable is well....miserable! So I am trying with all my might to make certain that each new person I encounter knows that I appreciate what they are doing for me, that I know they are doing what needs to be done, even when it is unpleasant, and if I've got nothing else in me that day to give, I can at least give them a smile. You never know who might be needing a smile, a kind word, a patient heart. You see it's through the little things, the daily living, the way you treat people, the things you say and do, that people see and understand what being a Christian really is and begin to understand the love of Christ. If I can help the people I encounter see that love, then at least something good is coming out of all of this.
Today's Prayer Requests:
Today we cleaned the house. I am pretty sure this is the cleanest it has ever been. That makes me happy. At least I can start this next week of appointments with a clean house and everything, for the most part, in its place. My screen porch is still a bit of a wreck because it will not stop raining and we aren't going to talk about the garage full of Jarod's boxes and furniture to be moved to App on August 3rd. But, as I sit here in my newly painted bedroom with the new artwork I painted hanging up on the walls, I feel peaceful and that is good.
Thursday, I arrived at work at my usual time and went about my morning routines. About a half hour into my morning I suddenly realized that nearly everyone coming into work that morning was wearing pink and those that weren't had pink ribbons pinned on. I was just blown away. I am so blessed to work with those people. I've not been over there at Help Desk very long, just about 2 and a half months, even though I've known many of them for years since I was a Tech Assistant in the schools. But to know that they are all pulling for me really was touching and encouraging and I really, truly appreciated it. I cannot thank them enough.
My boss and my supervisor also took me out for lunch Thursday which was a nice surprise. They have both been simply wonderful and supportive and again I cannot tell you how blessed I am to work with them. To all those who prayed with me for the perfect job to come along, God heard those prayers and answered them tenfold!
I've been looking at short haircuts online trying to find something that I like. I've decided it doesn't matter whether I have surgery or chemo first...either way, I'm not gonna feel like messing with my hair for quite some time. I have very thick, very difficult hair that takes forever to dry. I won't be able to fix it after surgery. I won't feel like fixing it during chemo. So, I'm cutting it off. I figure, even if I have chemo first I'll at least have a cute haircut for a couple weeks before it all falls out. Honestly, it has been getting on my last nerve the last few days with all this rain so it's making it a bit easier to cut it all off! My BFF, Suzie, will be here tomorrow afternoon. While she's here I'll make an appointment to get my hair cut. I might be fine. I might cry. Either way, I'll have her make some pictures to chronical the day. We're going to get our nails done too. I'm looking forward to a little pampering after the last few weeks.
I am still black and blue and every other color from my biopsies. I've never had bruises like this before. It freaks me out to look at them. They are getting a little better each day, but it's a slow process. I'm still very sore and wake up several times a night because I've rolled over the wrong way.
I'm off work all next week. So many appointments and things to do to get ready to either start chemo or have surgery that I just didn't think I could wrap my head around working 10 hours days on top of all the decisions I need to make. Depending on the treatment plan, I will begin my leave sometime between August 1st and the 15th. I should know on Monday after my appointment and just knowing what I'm doing and when will make me feel a whole lot better. This is going to be a long process and I could be out of work for 6 months or more. Financially, that scares me to be honest. But I'm trying to look at the positives so I will say that I will be glad to sleep late, stay in my PJs if I want, take naps when I want and binge watch British TV shows on AcornTV. :)
I have realized through this trial what is important and what isn't. The silly things I used to complain about are pretty much gone. When you are standing toe to toe with something that could end your life a lot of things become very clear. I have a need to make certain that I treat every person I encounter with kindness and patience. I've met a lot of new people over the last few weeks, many of them Doctors and Nurses or Technicians. I don't want to go through this trial. I don't want to go to all these Drs. appointments. I don't want to be poked and prodded and stuck with needles or have parts of my body removed. But whether I want it or not, It's happening. So it is up to me to make the best of it. I could choose to be miserable but I'd rather not because being miserable is well....miserable! So I am trying with all my might to make certain that each new person I encounter knows that I appreciate what they are doing for me, that I know they are doing what needs to be done, even when it is unpleasant, and if I've got nothing else in me that day to give, I can at least give them a smile. You never know who might be needing a smile, a kind word, a patient heart. You see it's through the little things, the daily living, the way you treat people, the things you say and do, that people see and understand what being a Christian really is and begin to understand the love of Christ. If I can help the people I encounter see that love, then at least something good is coming out of all of this.
Today's Prayer Requests:
- Pray for my Daughter-in-law and the ladies she is with as they are on Mission in Moldova. Please pray for their safety and their mission to be fruitful.
- Pray for her parents as they travel home from a vacation out west tonight.
- Pray for my BFF Suzie as she travels here tomorrow to spend a week with me! YAY!
- Praise for coworkers showing me support and love.
- Pray for my important appointment on Monday as I meet with the Oncologist for the first time. Pray that he will have a clear plan that will help me kick this cancer to the curb, that there won't be any scheduling issues and I will be able to begin the process asap.
- Pray for Scott and I and my friend Suzie as we navigate all these appointments this week that will be able to take in and understand all the information given to us from the various doctors.
- Pray for me to be able to have a good attitude, be strong and courageous and calm.
Today's Verse:
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