Patience My Child...
"Patience is not about doing nothing. It's about doing everything you can but being patient about the results." ~ unknown
Let me start by saying I'd be lying if I didn't say my patience is wearing thin! I am just tired of recovering from stuff. Tired of being tired. Tired of being in pain and tired of sitting in my recliner all day instead of doing the things I want to do! I found the above quote and realized that even though I'm mostly just sitting here with my feet up, I am doing what I am supposed to do.
I finally got insurance approval to start radiation this Monday. Not sure what the hold up was. I've been told it is called IMRT or Intensity-Modulated Radiation Therapy. You can click the link for an explanation, but it is a newer form of radiation therapy that helps to evenly distribute the treatment to the defined area. I will go Monday thru Friday for 6 weeks and I should finish up April 5th. I met the ladies that will be doing my treatment each day and they were all super nice, as is the Radiation Oncologist. I have been so blessed with such wonderful health care professionals throughout this entire journey.
I'm feeling pretty good a week out from surgery. For those that don't know, I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy (removal of uterus & cervix) and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (removal of ovaries & tubes). The recovery has been a piece of cake compared to my last surgery (bilateral mastectomy & reconstruction). I'm not really in that much pain, just sore and very tired. Honestly, I feel a bit like I did after I had my children. I'm restricted from picking up more than 10 pounds for 4-6 weeks and from doing pretty much anything but sitting here for 2-3 weeks. I cleaned up the kitchen this morning and felt completely exhausted. So here I sit, trying to be patient. After next week I can start walking with Bella again and I am looking forward to that!
I go back to work on March 6th. At least, that is the current plan. Hopefully, it'll work out. I am lucky in that most of my job involves sitting at a desk all day. I cannot lift or do anything strenuous for at least another 2 months. Hard to believe that this will all be behind me by April 5th. I do still have to go on some medication for another 7-10 years, but that is nothing compared to what I've already been through. I'm ready to move on.
I have had a really hard time sleeping this last week. Aside from just being uncomfortable from the surgery, I just can't fall asleep. Last night as I lay awake at 3:00am for some strange reason a song came to mind that I had sung way back in high school. It's by Twila Paris and the song is "The Warrior is a Child". I looked it up today to refresh my memory on the lyrics. It's very fitting for my current situation.
The Warrior is a Child
Lately, I've been winning
Battles left and right
But even winners can get
Wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
They don't know that
I go running home when I fall down
They don't know Who picks me
Up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
They don't know that I go
Running home when I fall down
They don't know Who picks me
Up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
These words have never been truer in my life than they are right now. Do not doubt. Do not wonder. Do not think I have any more personal strength than the next person. The only reason that I have made it through this is because of whose child I am. My strength comes from my Savior. My hope is in Him. My resolve comes from Him. My comfort comes from knowing He loves me. No. Matter. What. I don't know how anyone can get through a battle without a relationship with God. He is not what some people who call themselves Christians portray Him to be. He is a God of love and He is a God that will meet you right where you are and never, ever leave you, no matter what this broken world throws at you. Never doubt that deep inside this armor, this warrior is a child of God.
Today's Prayer Requests:
Let me start by saying I'd be lying if I didn't say my patience is wearing thin! I am just tired of recovering from stuff. Tired of being tired. Tired of being in pain and tired of sitting in my recliner all day instead of doing the things I want to do! I found the above quote and realized that even though I'm mostly just sitting here with my feet up, I am doing what I am supposed to do.
I finally got insurance approval to start radiation this Monday. Not sure what the hold up was. I've been told it is called IMRT or Intensity-Modulated Radiation Therapy. You can click the link for an explanation, but it is a newer form of radiation therapy that helps to evenly distribute the treatment to the defined area. I will go Monday thru Friday for 6 weeks and I should finish up April 5th. I met the ladies that will be doing my treatment each day and they were all super nice, as is the Radiation Oncologist. I have been so blessed with such wonderful health care professionals throughout this entire journey.
I'm feeling pretty good a week out from surgery. For those that don't know, I had a laparoscopic hysterectomy (removal of uterus & cervix) and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy (removal of ovaries & tubes). The recovery has been a piece of cake compared to my last surgery (bilateral mastectomy & reconstruction). I'm not really in that much pain, just sore and very tired. Honestly, I feel a bit like I did after I had my children. I'm restricted from picking up more than 10 pounds for 4-6 weeks and from doing pretty much anything but sitting here for 2-3 weeks. I cleaned up the kitchen this morning and felt completely exhausted. So here I sit, trying to be patient. After next week I can start walking with Bella again and I am looking forward to that!
I go back to work on March 6th. At least, that is the current plan. Hopefully, it'll work out. I am lucky in that most of my job involves sitting at a desk all day. I cannot lift or do anything strenuous for at least another 2 months. Hard to believe that this will all be behind me by April 5th. I do still have to go on some medication for another 7-10 years, but that is nothing compared to what I've already been through. I'm ready to move on.
I have had a really hard time sleeping this last week. Aside from just being uncomfortable from the surgery, I just can't fall asleep. Last night as I lay awake at 3:00am for some strange reason a song came to mind that I had sung way back in high school. It's by Twila Paris and the song is "The Warrior is a Child". I looked it up today to refresh my memory on the lyrics. It's very fitting for my current situation.
The Warrior is a Child
Lately, I've been winning
Battles left and right
But even winners can get
Wounded in the fight
People say that I'm amazing
Strong beyond my years
But they don't see inside of me
I'm hiding all the tears
They don't know that
I go running home when I fall down
They don't know Who picks me
Up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
Unafraid because His armor is the best
But even soldiers need a quiet place to rest
People say that I'm amazing
Never face retreat
But they don't see the enemies
That lay me at His feet
They don't know that I go
Running home when I fall down
They don't know Who picks me
Up when no one is around
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
'Cause deep inside this armor
The warrior is a child
These words have never been truer in my life than they are right now. Do not doubt. Do not wonder. Do not think I have any more personal strength than the next person. The only reason that I have made it through this is because of whose child I am. My strength comes from my Savior. My hope is in Him. My resolve comes from Him. My comfort comes from knowing He loves me. No. Matter. What. I don't know how anyone can get through a battle without a relationship with God. He is not what some people who call themselves Christians portray Him to be. He is a God of love and He is a God that will meet you right where you are and never, ever leave you, no matter what this broken world throws at you. Never doubt that deep inside this armor, this warrior is a child of God.
Today's Prayer Requests:
- Please pray for my Grandmother. She's moved into her apartment but she's still not eating at all. They can barely get her to drink anything. She's still very confused and not doing well.
- Please pray for my mom, dad and uncle as they care for her and try to get her adjusted to her new place and get her to eat/drink.
- Pray that I continue to heal without issue.
- Pray that I will have minimal side effects from radiation.
- Pray that I will be able to return to work on March 6th.
- Pray for me to be strong, brave, stay well and stay positive.
Today's Verse:
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