An Update...Because You Asked...

"A strong woman knows she has strength enough for the journey...a woman of strength knows it on the journey that she will become strong." ~ Luke Easter

First things first, overall I am doing very well. I am gaining strength each day and feeling better physically. I still have days when I hit a wall and I am just utterly and completely exhausted for no apparent reason. On those days I really have no other choice but to slow down and rest because I simply cannot function. Thankfully, those days are getting fewer and farther in between. As of today, the cancer is gone. The treatments did their job. There is never a 100% guarantee it won't come back one day, but the chances are small. The doctors threw everything they had at it and though I came out the other side quite beaten up, I am grateful for all they did for me.

My hair is starting to curl as it grows back in. I figured it might. My hair was VERY curly when I was younger, but with each pregnancy, it got straighter and straighter until it was just wavy. I don't know if this will last, but while it is short it is certainly easier to fix if it curls. I colored it recently because I was not happy being gray. At first, it was WAY too red, but thankfully after several shampoos, it has calmed down a bit and I like it.

I recently learned that your eyelashes have a 3 month growth period before they fall out and new ones grow back. How did I learn this you ask? Well, my beautiful, thick eyelashes that grew back after chemo suddenly fell out AGAIN!! UGH!! My eyelids are currently half bald and, I assume, the rest will be falling out very soon. They are growing back but still...so disappointing. No idea how long this will continue to happen. My eyebrows have taken their time and I think I'm at a point where I don't think they'll get much better. Oh well. At least I can draw those on, LOL!

To give an overview, my treatment plan went as follows:

• Diagnosis June 29, 2018
• Several biopsies, MRIs & genetic testing (I am BRCA2 positive)
• 16 weeks of chemo - 4 rounds of AC and 4 rounds of Taxol
• Bilateral Mastectomy with immediate reconstruction
• Began Physical therapy (ongoing still)
• Removal of my ovaries, tubes & uterus
• 5 weeks of Monday thru Friday radiation therapy
• 5-7 years of Arimidex - a hormone based chemo drug

So, here I am 10 months later, cancer-free. I am also breast-free (well real ones anyway) and reproductive organ-free, LOL. I told my husband they have taken nearly everything that makes me a woman. I could be bitter about that, but I don't feel less of a woman. I am glad I had the reconstruction done at the same time as the mastectomy. That helped my state of mind tremendously, and though they don't really look much like they did before, at least I can look normal in my clothes. They have no feeling and to be honest that has taken me a long while to get used to. I still am not completely unaware of the numbness in my chest and my upper right arm. I am looking forward to the time when I can forget about it feeling weird. The hysterectomy was a piece of cake. Sure I was sore for a couple weeks, but it really wasn't anywhere near as difficult a recovery as I had expected. 

What I am currently dealing with is swelling, both in my right arm and in my ankles and feet, and joint pain in every single little joint caused by the medication I am now taking. Thankfully, I have also started taking Celebrex (which I've had before and is amazing) for the joint pain. I still hurt, but it is manageable at least. I have a hard time getting going sometimes, but once I'm up moving I'm ok. The swelling in my arm is from Lymphedema. They took 11 lymph nodes out when I had the mastectomy, 9 on the right and 2 on the left. This has caused my right arm to swell sometimes. So far it has not been terribly bad. I also am dealing with cording (scar tissue) that builds up and pulls like a tight cord under the skin. It can be quite painful but not near as painful as the process to "release" it. The physical therapist basically has to tear it apart but pulling in opposite directions on your skin. I'm not gonna lie...it really, really hurts. Thankfully, almost all my cording is gone. I just have a couple places on the inside of my elbow that are being stubborn and unfortunately, they hurt the worst because I can FEEL that part of my arm! My feet and ankles are a different story. At the moment I am not sure what is causing the swelling. One of the drugs they gave me during chemo (AC) can cause heart problems or even heart failure and so they watched me closely during that treatment. I had what they call a MUGA heart scan and an echocardiogram during that time. My oncologist told me that he doesn't think my heart is what is causing the swelling, but because when I had my MUGA scan my heart was borderline (it pumps kind of slow, on the low end of normal) he wants to make absolutely certain. So I am having another echocardiogram on May 10th. I'd appreciate your prayers that all will come back normal on this. If that is normal, then my GP will look into other reasons that my feet and ankles would be swelling. I do have a little bit of nerve damage to the lower parts of my legs, especially on the right, from the taxol. It has gotten a bit better but I still have burning, tingling at times in my lower leg/ankles/feet. At any rate, please pray that we can find out the cause and be able to do something to help!

My next challenge is to try and lose some of the weight I gained these last 10 months. Aside from being in the bed for quite a bit of that time, either from side effects from chemo or recovering from surgeries or radiation, the massive does of steroids I was given during chemo helped pack on the pounds. To add to the challenge I am now faced with menopause which can make it even harder to lose weight. I am slowly getting back to being able to exercise (Bella is helping with that), however, I have to take it slow because if I strain my right arm it can cause it to swell. I don't like wearing the compression sleeve but sometimes I have to. I suppose I will eventually also get used to that. We'll see. 

As summer approaches I have another challenge to face. Because of the absence of lymph glands on my right side, if I get a sunburn or I get an insect bite, a scratch, even a hangnail on that right arm I can get into trouble quickly. So, I have to be certain to never forget the sunscreen, wear insect repellant and stay out of my rose garden unless I am wearing gloves and being extremely careful. your lymph glands help clear infection and since they are missing on the right side, I can get a very bad infection, quickly. I also have to start taking calcium because apparently, my bones are going to become more brittle due to the medication I'm taking. I'm not used to being careful. If you know me well at all you know I am quite accident prone. The scars on my right arm should tell you that. I've got a burn scar and a scar from jamming scissors into my thumb joint just to name a couple. So, remembering that I am not as bullet-proof as I once thought I was...well, that will be a challenge. 

All in all, I feel positive about the future. I have learned though that tomorrow is not promised and so I need to slow down and live life to the fullest whenever I can. I don't think I'll being doing anything silly, like jumping out of a perfectly good airplane or climbing Mt. Everest, but enjoying the things I like, spending time with my family and continuing to grow in my relationship with God are high on my list! I've had to learn patience, perseverance and trust these last 10 months and that has grown my faith in God by leaps and bounds. It has made me remember what is important and what is not. It has made me view every day as a gift and cherish every person in my life. I am stronger, but only because God has given me the strength I needed to make it through. 

Today's Prayer Requests:

1. Please pray that my echocardiogram on May 10 will be normal.
2. Please pray that my doctor will be able to figure out what is causing my feet and ankles to swell and we will be able to do something about it.
3. Please pray that I will be able to graduate from physical therapy soon.
4. Please pray that my body will continue to heal and grow stronger.
5. Please pray that the cancer will STAY GONE!
6. Please pray for me as I am released from my many doctors over the coming months, that I will not worry about recurrence and that I will have a positive state of mind moving forward. I want this experience to make me better, not bitter.

Today's Verse: