Warrior Mode Activated

Tonight, I'm preparing for battle once again. Tomorrow's the big day...Chemo #2 (I hope!) assuming my white blood cells are back up. I woke up with a resurgence of thrush but have gargled many times today with my special mouthwash and it already feels better.  I've been very tired today for some reason so I've just been lazy aside from washing a few loads of clothes and changing the sheets on my bed. I've got everything ready to go tomorrow. I have to be there by 8:30am. I'll have blood work, see the Oncologist, wait for blood work results and then if all is well I will have pre-meds and then chemo. It is weird to pray for something you really don't want but know you need. I have had the sniffles since the first chemo. Apparently, this is a side effect. It is very annoying. Kleenex with lotion has become my best friend. Speaking of tissue....if you are ever tempted by a tree hugger friend to purchase "tree-free" toilet paper...don't do it. I...

I got my wig today! Yay! I had chosen one that was a little longer but when I got there and put it on I wasn't happy with it and asked if I could try on some shorter ones. I really like the one I chose. It's a bit of a tousled, curly do...nice and short. I am quite surprised at how comfy it is and very breezy (it has lots of vents!) so it's not hot at all. Whew! I was worried about that. These hot flashes I am having now would melt it off my head if it wasn't vented!! Unfortunately, in order to fit it properly, she had to buzz my head even shorter. I can now see my scalp and the hair is just long enough to be bristly. I'm not a fan of how it feels and my head is COLD and I wasn't expecting that. I was born with a head full of hair so this is a first for me. I guess I will be putting all these cute caps I have been collecting to use when I am not wearing my wig. I can live with it for now...it will all be gone soon enough anyway. The last few days I've had...

I woke up this morning at 5:00am and could not go back to sleep. It seems that flossing my teeth last night was not entirely a good idea. My gums swelled up and they were killing me (they're better now) and that added to my sore tongue kept me awake. Now I understand why they recommended using a waterpik.  Anyway, I just got up when Scott did at 6:00am. I have felt really good today and also very restless. I am tired of being cooped up! The bed frame for the guest room came today and it was in a million pieces so I put it together. I'm good at that sort of thing (I read directions). My new mattress comes on Monday and we'll move our old one in there so Mom and Dad will have a place to sleep when they get here on the 31st. We've moved the full bed into Jarod's room since it was completely empty after he moved back to Boone. I miss him and Aimee so much! *sniff* Not long after I got up this morning I was putting dishes in the dishwasher and noticed the inside was...

The last couple of days have been really good. I have felt good, aside from a pesky headache today, and got a lot accomplished around the house. I have reorganized my pantry and cabinets and cleaned the refrigerator and freezer out! I've washed all the throw rugs, dusted everything, cleaned my room, vacuumed and washed all the clothes. The fact that I have been on a cleaning streak if proof that I am bored out of my mind, LOL! I hate to clean. I am, truth be told, a bit messy usually. Some things in life have shifted my perspective obviously. I feel the need to get things are organized as possible for the days when I simply cannot get out of bed. If this next chemo is like the last, I will be in bed for about 4 days. I will need your prayers during that time loved ones even more so. It is so easy to get discouraged when one day of misery just blends into the next. I'm hoping my new meds will help and if nothing else they just keep me asleep most of the time. I am already dread...

I have had a bit of a rotten day. Last night, after our short walk on the beach I decided I reeeally wanted a chocolate milkshake from Bruster's. It was a HUGE mistake. I am a little lactose intolerant to begin with...add to that the fact that chemo attacks your digestive system and you have a real recipe for disaster. Yep, up half the night sick as a dog. Today I feel rotten and bloated. My nose keeps bleeding too which is annoying since it runs allll the time now and I keep having to blow it and then it bleeds again. I just feel like I want to crawl out of my skin today and my head will not stop itching! Someone, please remind me of this day if I even consider eating anything so heavily dairy in the next six months!! I did manage to float in the pool for about 30 minutes today and that was nice. It has been another gorgeous day. I had been hoping to try and make it to Sunday School but that didn't happen since I felt so rotten this morning...maybe next week! Another chem...

I've had a good day. My dear friend Lucrece came over this morning with her son and we swam in the pool for a couple hours. It was really great to see her and I really enjoyed it. It has been a gorgeous day so far! My parents are coming on August 31st and staying for the month of September. It will be great to have them here. I just wish they were coming for a vacation and not to help take care of me. But at least I know what to expect now from chemo so I'll know what days I can function so we can do something fun and what days I can't. My next treatment if bloodwork goes well on Monday will be the 27th, so hopefully, by the time they get here on the 31st I will be feeling better and we can have a little over a week to spend together before the next round. I'm going to ask the nurse on Monday if there are any other meds they can give me to help with the nausea. If I can keep that at bay I will be SO much better off. Today the Neulasta has kicked in and my back ac...

This will be short. I cannot seem to put words into sentences that make a lot of sense. My brain feels far away. I imagined that chemo would be horrible. I had no idea. I've been unable to get out of bed since Monday afternoon. I've made it to the bathroom and back and managed to get a bath late yesterday, but the rest of the time I have either been consumed with nausea or asleep. The steroids they gave me have made my face swell. It's not a pretty picture folks. Today, I feel a bit better. I am still nauseous, but not as much. I've been able to eat some and I've stayed awake all day so far, although I feel a nap is in my near future. The first nausea medicine they prescribed gave me a migraine the likes of which I never, ever want to repeat. The new medicine makes me very sleepy and is only so-so in controlling the nausea. I will ask my Dr. on Monday when I go to have blood drawn if these two are my only options. If I can control the nausea, I can deal with bein...

I awoke this morning with my head pounding at about 8am. Unfortunately, it only got worse as the day progressed. Every time I sat up I had a hot flash, started sweating and nearly threw up or passed out. So, I spent the entire day alternating the ice pack on my head, face, neck, and chest and crying on and off. I believe it was caused by a combination of not having any real food since Thursday night and the pain meds they gave me for my surgery. I've not always had a good result with Norco. I've decided to just use something over the counter from here on out. Not a very good day and my spirits took a hit. I am feeling a bit better tonight, although my head still hurts. Taylor made me some scrambled eggs and I was able to sit up and eat those about 3:30pm. At least I can sit up now with feeling faint and I can almost see what I'm typing! My neck feels a bit better too. Last night it felt like someone had stabbed me in the neck and slit my chest, and actually, I guess that...

I woke up crying this morning once again. I guess it was a dream, I really don't know. Aside from that today was a pretty good day. I ran a couple errands this morning and then met Ann at the nail salon to have a pedicure. It was so nice and I felt quite spoiled. I haven't done that in a very long time. My feet are happy and my toes are a pretty shade of pink. After that, we stopped by Hobby Lobby. I bought some canvases in the hopes I will feel like painting in between treatments. Then I came home and got in the pool. It has been ages since I was able to get in the pool, either because it rained for 2 weeks solid or because I was recovering from procedures. It was so nice floating there, pretending all is well, soaking up the sun, pretending everything is normal. It's bittersweet. My wig is in, in the color I asked for, so I have to go by there tomorrow to see if I approve, but other than that I have nothing I have to do aside from clean house a bit. That'll be nice...

Just a quick post tonight to say that God is good! I met Sheila today. She helped me pick out a wig but more than that she encouraged me, made me laugh & gave me a big hug when I left. The ladies that were there being fitted for wigs before me were also very kind and upbeat. It made something rather traumatic rather pleasant and I am so very thankful for that. I bought the last of the supplies I need to have on hand for the next few months. Odd things...like a wedge pillow, alcohol-free mouthwash, baking soda, soft camisole tops in every color they had, hats, scarves, lemon drops, gatoraid, soft PJs, crackers, etc...I’m ready. Tomorrow I’m cleaning house and meeting a dear friend for lunch then heading to a Drs. Appointment. If the sun will come out long enough I may get in the pool. Only a few more days before I can’t go swimming anymore. Wednesday I’m getting a pedicure. Trying to get as much out of this week as I can. I feel so loved because of each of you. Thank you for yo...

1 week until Chemo begins... It's been several days since my last post. I had a wonderful week with my BFF Suzie! She went with me to appointments, to get my hair cut, shopping, eating out, etc. We had a blast just being together. I am so blessed to have had her in my life for nearly 20 years. Love ya SuzieQ! Tomorrow morning (Monday) I go for what is called a MUGA scan of my heart and a chest x-ray. Then Tuesday afternoon I have an appointment with my regular Dr. to check up on how I'm doing with my anxiety meds. On Friday, I have my port surgery. If you're interested in that sort of thing, here is a video of what they will do...fair warning...it's a video of a real surgery so don't watch it if you're squeamish!!  https://youtu.be/-jWMYh0Y6gg    I'm not looking forward to that at all. As a matter of fact, I think I am more nervous about this than anything else I'm facing (right now anyway). I guess because I will have a foreign object inside me and...

I am so thankful when the news I get is good. I had a scan on my ovaries today and they are in perfect shape. Thank you Lord!! So I don't have to worry about that until after I am done with my treatments and surgery for the breast cancer. I'm not gonna lie...I was sweating it! Once I heal from the mastectomy, I have to have a hysterectomy. I may be able to wait until next summer to have that, or I could choose to do it as soon as I heal from the other surgery. We'll see how I feel. Every time I walk by a mirror and see myself I do a double-take. I wonder how long it will take for my brain to recognize me with my new hairstyle? It was very easy to fix this morning, that's for sure! I am really, really enjoying my BFF being here! I don't know what I ever did to deserve her but it must have been something reeeeally good! She is the BEST!! Between now and the 13th, I have to have 2 more tests and have my port put in. I told Suzie today I am terrible at waiting in...